Dear Waitress that asked if I wanted a table, No. Sincerely, I ll just eat on the floor, Thanks.

The 3 fastest means of communication: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman.

Dear Facebook, Dont show off! You cant even signup without us! ...Yours Sincerely, MSN, Gmail & Yahoo.

Dear Edward, You are doing it all wrong. Sincerely, The Dracula

I don't have bad handwriting. I have my own Font.

Facebook resembles a refrigerator. I get bored and keep refreshing, but nothing ever changes.

One cool thing about music is, when it strikes you...you do not feel any pain.

*At School*. "Hey, can I have some gum?". "Yeah, but dont say you got it from me!

If you tickle me then i won't be responsible for your injuries.

I get mini heart attacks if I dont feel my phone in my pocket.

I clapped because it finished, not because i liked it..

VODKA. . . Deleting Memories Since 1405

Listening to someones story and thinking lie, lie, lie, lie and lie!!

A guy broke into my appartment last week.. He did not take the TV, just the remote. Now he drives by and changes the channels.. Sick bastard!!

I'll bash you so hard, even GOOGLE won`t be able to find you!!

I ❤ my phone; its always in my hand, on my lap, at my side, or in my pocket :)

Our teachers say its called cheating; We say its called TEAMWORK